09 February 2011

Sappy crap for Darworld

I uneasily squeeze my way
through the halls and on my line of sight
are slapped grins, waves,
cordial greetings that make me crave
some comfort, a reminder,
a sense of assurance
that allows me to believe that
I'm still somewhat concurrent
with the rest of the world
that sits outside this dome --
a post-it note that says
"You're on your way home."

It's hard to trust that
despite all my worries,
I fit in the mold.
I know this from experience,
from when I was just a couple years old:
a square block
doesn't go in a round hole.

But hell, it hurts to know that
even though
my corners have softened
and I've trashed some fears,
all this was
was a few good years.
I've hated this place,
cursed its name,
wished for its downfall,
its final drop in fame.
Yet I've loved this place --
it's provided me the times
I'll never forget
'cause they remain entwined
with my fondest memories,
my strongest empathies.

So thinking back on it,
I might have been wrong to
accuse you of lying
when you said I belong.
I have never been so scared --
and I want it to be known --
to move on once more
and to leave my real home.

08 February 2011

Alive (song)

You may not have known it,
but I sure as hell showed it
with every laugh and every smile I ever gave to you.
And I'm sure that by now
even you would allow
yourself to see the fact in each and every single clue

Now I might not always know the right words to say
but it's been killing me since that first day.

I have never felt quite this alive
and I have never let myself take such a dive
into a thing quite as unknown as you
but I think I'm ready to jump into
this thing we call life as long as
you're ready to jump too.

You may not have known it
but I thought that I showed it
through all the nervousness I had whenever I saw you.
But just look at us now,
we're together somehow
and I can't believe that what I wished for has come true.

Now I might not always know the right words to say
but it's been killing me since that first day.

I have never felt quite this alive
and I have never let myself take such a dive
into a thing quite as unknown as you
but I think I'm ready to jump into
this thing we call life as long as
you're ready to jump too.

And if you're scared, it's okay.
Just take a deep breath and don't give it away
until we've jumped,
hit the ground,
stayed a while and looked around,
'cause what's the point in leaping if there's nothing to be found?

I have never felt quite this alive
and I have never let myself take such a dive
into a thing quite this unknown or new
but I know I'm ready to jump into
this thing we call life because
I looked and I found you.

31 January 2011

Silly little nothing

Lungs hung low, stung and swollen;
I try to hold my breath, but you've already stolen
the air from me and it's hard to see
what's ahead 'cause you've got me frozen
in time with you, deprived of motion.
But I don't mind not moving --
we're quite the explosion.

27 January 2011

Care Free (song)

Rainy days never get me down,
so take my hand, we'll turn it all around.
You and me, we've got the world in our hands
and maybe we can make them understand
that the storm is soon to pass
and it only gets brighter from here.

Stormy days never make a sound
in the new air that we have found.
You and me, we draw our lives in the sand
to take the weight of the world from our hands.
While the rain hits the grass,
the sun is on its way here.

And it's time for the world to see
what it's like to be care-free.

I want to be the one to show them
how it feels to be open
to a life that's eye-opening.
And I want to be the one who's sharing
a day worth carrying,
you just can't do it too carefully.

Lonely nights let us find the time
for me to be yours, and you be mine.
You and me, we'll never be afraid
to take the chances that we have made.
While the night seems to stay,
a new day makes its way near.

And it's time for the world to hear
the great sound of having no fear.

I want to be the one to show them
how it feels to be open
to a life that's eye-opening.
And I want to be the one who's sharing
a day worth carrying,
you just can't do it too carefully.

And it's time for the world to say
that they're ready for what comes their way.

So I don't have to be the one to show them
how it feels to be open
to a life that's eye-opening.
'Cause now they know it's not so bad to be daring
just as long as you're wearing
the life you live care-free.

25 January 2011

Right Direction (song)

I don't know exactly where all this is going.
I don't care that I've never been here before.
But the road that we're on tonight
looks long and full of light
and it seems we're heading in the right direction.

I know I've never been one to hide what I'm thinking
and I know I'm not the type to close an open door.
And the signs we pass on the right
are leading us and they just might
tell us which path to take to avoid correction.

Now I'm patiently waiting
for a day that needs saving
but I think that we've got a ways to go.
And the memories we're making --
they will never need naming
'cause the days that we have, I'll always know.

I won't worry about the things we may run into
'cause I know when I'm with you, we'll rock the world.
And the stares we get from the crowd
will do nothing, won't pull us down.
I'd do anything to keep us balancing.

Now I'm anxiously paging
through the notes I've been saving
and for the times that you give me, to you I owe
any wish that you've made.
And I promise today
that what I feel for you can only show

That now I'm readily claiming
this thing we are creating
as a new thrill in a world that we can call our own.

20 January 2011

Fight This

I want to tell you when you're flightless --
wings broken, hands cold, and sightless --
I'll lift you up as long as you still say that you can fight this
battle we were thrown in, and even though you're moanin'
you could never be scared to stare
life right in the eye because it dares you, wears you,
tears you down to what you're meant to
And if you were meant to be wingless --
bound down to the ground that is now found kingless --
then maybe life just dared you, compared you,
made sure you still cared to push it into gear,
to compromise your fears for the sake of he who hears you
when you scream that you're not scared to
throw your hands high into the air and remind life
that though the sky bans you from heading its way,
you carry two birds with you that still like the day
and to see the light of it.
And that you enjoy the sight of it
when your moves speak volumes,
though your voice lacks volume
on the ears of the peers that will surround you,
pound you, but who have never once crowned you
for the things you've done right or that one time -- that night --
when he cried on your shoulder and you sat with him
or when they had their hearts broken and you explained to them
that their lives are a battle and the wounds will sting
but for the ones who prevail, in their ears will ring
a song of pride and love, and
even though the song's something I've never heard of,
I'd like to think that my life is a battle so I'll fight it
and write my name up on the wall of those who liked it
for all it was.
So if you try this, I promise to you now that when you're flightless,
people will bring you down, but you can win this
'cause someone will always be there to lift you up
if you just share with the world that you won't give up.

14 January 2011


The world, with you, is a rip-tide blue
and you blow me out of the water every time you move.
But while my brain thrashes from
wave length to wave length
my mind stays steady and swims on through.

I forgot, though, today, which path to take
to avoid sinking deeper but not let myself ache
when you forcefully splashed the salt in my face,
'cause the river was dry
with no water to waste.

But the taste in my mouth
from the words you spit out
reeked of unwanted nausea
yet an expected doubt
that sat sticky and gross
in the back of my throat
from the second we started
to the moment we choked.

I won't refill this river, 'cause our world is the sea
and this path we were on is now just debris.
So in the time we have left,
I want you to see
that though we're only good friends,
you're stuck with me.

06 January 2011

New Thrill

The last time my balance refused to stay with me --
kind of how it does when you're with me --
I was a year old and learning how to not drag my knees.

When I first attempted to walk,
my legs proved weak and quivered without hesitation
until they could no longer support the rest of me
(especially my disproportionate head, which
weighed me down).
And as I believe I've grown into the size of my head,
I can only think that what's emphasizing the
gravity that's pulling me toward the ground is
the immense force with which you inadvertently tug on my
heart strings.

And it stings every time my blood rings in my ears
when you speed up my pulse but
the rush you release in me with every word you spill
reminds me why I'm after you, still.
Because the excitement you instill in our merely
few-month new thrill is what puts in me
the endurance to stand back up.

26 November 2010

Genocide (bleh)

Had I flinched in that moment seven months ago,
I may have missed my shot and not killed my chances.

My unintentional mass-murder Saturday

led to a less-than-sensational "I wish I

could take it all back and not have lived that day."

The instant I knew there was no way
getting you away from this place,
my thoughts flung
toward the disappointment
I came to face.

I lost some trust with the choices I made,
and from all of those, I can never hide.
But one chance is still alive and aims to fight this genocide.

28 September 2010

Smile; It Inspires Me (college essay)

The impermanence of this hour ignites any of my whimsical fancies
churning dormant fantasy, so my undying vitality
booms through my every vein, tears past poorly-sewn seams,
and stampedes across unaffected lethargy until something
dares alleviate my despondency, and so transcends this transience;

your smiles stop time for me.

Your smiles allot therapy, and from there, they build synergy
between the group of you and me, and thus, we've got some harmony in this
tangy, boundless give-and-take.
For you, I pour out my soul and as arresting compensation,
the bliss on your illuminated faces suspends my
heart's drumming anticipation and
delineates the reason for my persistent attempts to bring you joy;

from widely-divided mouth corners to pearly whites
engulfing visages.
Air-deficient laughs, eyes overflowing with floods of saline.
Wrinkled noses, squinted eyes, hiccups and sentimental sighs
act as acoustic introduction to that fervent seduction
all of you (time and time again) douse me with to keep my fire burning.

No matter the time or place, your hallowed happiness
is forever that axiomatic substance that prompts me
to draw breath, warmth, and vision ceaselessly.

Smile; it inspires me.

12 August 2010

Crap... but I needed to do something.

Despite your semi-sturdy belief of spirits not existing,
tonight, you open your eyes,
uncover your ears
and seek out your heart.

And in the rush of tree leaves briskly grazing one another,
wind racing with itself through grass blades,

the hopes of rediscovered souls vibrate the air,
around you,
like a new wave of life's melodic hums,
composed of each of your idiosyncrasies
banded together, somehow,
generating the same sort of music you heard once before --

sounds like the rhythm of nostalgia taking you
back to the years you long to keep dear.

I need some inspiration

The words I would've once abundantly hurled onto the page now feel empty.

Haiku (first attempt)

Frightfully slight, our
fragile plight has left me torn
and without much faith.

14 June 2010

Hundred and One

Sky's dark grey tonight, and it's a memory on a loop, driving west with a boy I used to know on nights like these, acoustic sounds blowing out our windows, my toes curling while he and I swirl together around the world we've captured a hundred times on this same back road under green leaves falling through the moon roof, or the sun roof -- which ever -- and the dashboard's decorated with pieces of our adventure. Teaming tides of east coast night winds win us over and beneath this clearer sky, we vacate city lights, seek a noiseless night where we can engulf ourselves in this hundred-and-first sweep-up of each other, echo our breaths against his and my skin and the freer air we finally find every time we rendez-vous into the nowhere-new-but-unknown-to-you place we've loved for three years. And these times we've taken again and again, as we're stuck together like a sickly sweet love song to a girl's healing heart, pull my rosy cheeks up to my squinting eyes and draw me back to each day that led me to love him. And I'll keep loving him while these trees keep whistling in the cool breezes wrapping around winding dirt paths, and as our torn turquoise quilt keeps us warm on winter-nights-almost-turned-spring, these things leave me breathless in the crook of his arms until he revives me to let him lead me to love.